4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
