belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
