i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
