1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
