I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
