yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
