Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Damn victory sex feels great
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
