I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
