i jhust puked up my retainher.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
