i would punch a child for taco bell
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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