Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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