Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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