It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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