if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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