Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
