i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
