Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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