just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
