i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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