I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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