Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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