You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
