i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
