I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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