ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
