I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
