No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
