I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
