I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
