D3 body, D1 cock
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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