just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
