Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she peed on how many people?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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