And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
