xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
