I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
