On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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