come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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