I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
