I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
