There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
