And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
