So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
