My brain says no but my pants say off.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
