ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
