He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
