your room smells of hookers.
And success
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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