Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
