I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
