how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
