Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
