video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This baby is an asshole
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
