Buhtt sex?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
