You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
